Friday, March 21, 2014

Mom Math

I was doing the mom math in my head…you know, the calculations of what each kid has had and which one gets the next offering. This time around it was over the last ¼ of an ooey-gooey cheese stick from Pizza Hut.

I decided to treat my babies after church Wednesday night to late night pizza; by this time we were all starving!

The cheese sticks were just enough to keep our mouths from chewing our own feet, but then it got to that last morsel and there we all sat with hands between knees, eyeballs circling the table, and mouths watering. Politeness was keeping them from digging in and being the selfish child who ate the last bite; risking the shameful scorning from the other children. And I was left to quietly decide who had eaten the least and was to be offered the last tasting.

But as the moment heightened, a long go-go gadget arm from nowhere reached down and swooped up our basket, and then a voice attached to this wretched arm said, “Would you like some more tea?”

As she walked away we all erupted in laughter; well, all of us but Eldest Daughter who just quietly grabbed an imaginary pen and wrote on a napkin, “You were going to get a tip BUT…”

Hunger walks a fine line of satisfaction and shame.

In other Thomas family business:

The husband and I have successfully spent three weekends away in the past two months. Asleep by 10:30 p.m. most nights, as we paid to spend this time enjoying another city. It’s really fabulous of us to spend our monies in this fashion. I will say the last attempt was much more successful as we spent a night in Nashville to celebrate my sister turning 40. The four of us forced ourselves to stay up until midnight! It really was exhilarating! This is what happens when you deprive yourself of sleep throughout your 20’s, by 40 your body lays down and says, “NOPE, not doing it!”

At the outset of this I must explain that I do not eat seafood. I have tried it all, but only like crab cakes, occasionally. Not even shrimp…

We also celebrated 18 years of wedded bliss and my 38th birthday. At my birthday dinner we visited one of our favorite restaurants The Oak Room. 

Our server kindly laid our hors d’oeuvres in front of us and explained it was tuna tartare with caviar. My husband, respectfully to the chef, ate his, laid down his spoon, turned to me and said, “You’ll wanna get after that kinda quick-like.”

I did take a small fork and flake off the edge and tried…I lived, but barely.