Thursday, November 28, 2013

I’m Thankful for My Box

On this day of Thanksgiving I find myself behind on my facebook posts…20 days behind to be exact, but last night as I was in deep thought I realized what I am most thankful for this year…my box.

There’s this song that I listen to everyday; sometimes multiple times over and over and over. This song is me…this song came to me at a time that I realized people (a few) may think I’m strange.

I have had friends visit church with me. I have visited multiple churches and different denominations over the years and what I have found is my God is everywhere. But today I want to say that not everybody experiences him the way that I have, and that’s OK but I have this box.

In Feb. 2008 God drew me to him. I was under such conviction I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t breathe…I thought I was going to die. My church was having revival. That night I couldn’t get to that alter fast enough. At that time I thought that was the only place I could find God so I sat all day waiting to get back to church to fall at his feet at that wooden alter. Again in 2011 he drew me to be baptized, and I was on March 6, 2011.

Fast forward almost six years: Today I look back and see the difference in my life, my actions, my marriage, my surroundings, my thoughts…I am totally different. I had single handedly burned down the life I had known…I was standing in ashes and nowhere to go. That’s where he found me. Today my marriage is stronger than ever because we apply the principals of the Bible, our children don’t battle the things they used to and have had their own salvation experiences, and I think now, “What would life look like had we not involved God?” If I use the measuring stick of our life before God, it looks like destruction with unruly children and a broken marriage of two people seeking something that cannot be found in humans.

So now I have this box…

The words of the song are this:

The room grew still as she made her way to Jesus
She stumbles through the tears that made her blind
She felt such pain, some spoke in anger, there’s no place here for her kind
Still on she came through the tears that flushed her face
Til at last, she knelt before his feet
And though she spoke no words
Everything she said was heard
As she poured her love for the master
From her box of Alabaster…

And I’ve come to pour my praise on him
Like oil from Mary’s Alabaster Box
Don’t be angry if I wash his feet with my tears
And dry them with my hair
You were not there the night he found me
You did not feel what I felt when he wrapped his loving arms around me
And you don't know the cost of the oil in my Alabaster Box

I can't forget the way life used to be
I was a prisoner to the sin that had me bound
And I spent my days
Pouring my life without measure
Into a little treasure box
I'd thought I'd found
Until the day when Jesus came to me
And healed my soul
With the wonder of His touch
So now I'm giving back to Him
All the praise He's worthy of
I've been forgiven
And that's why
I love Him so much

So, I’ve come to pour my praise on him
Like oil from Mary’s Alabaster Box
Don’t be angry if I wash his feet with my tears
And dry them with my hair
You were not there the night he found me
You did not feel what I felt when he wrapped his loving arms around me
And you don't know the cost MY praise
NO, you don’t know the cost of the oil in my Alabaster Box…

That’s the best I can sum it up…I cannot explain to you the supernatural experience I have had with my God…the addictions broken in my life, the curses lifted from me and my children, the “beauty for ashes” he has given me, the friends he added to me, the blessings he pours on me every day, and the very supernatural events that have and continue to take place in our lives. I pray for faith, I pray the scripture, “Lord I believe help my unbelief,” and when I pray I look up and see in my mind a face nodding and saying, “I hear your cries, and I am answering your prayers.” And he does…every time.

So when you see me at church and I have my hands in the air, and tears streaming down my face as I pour praise on this Jesus who has done all of this for me…please just know that in my heart is an Alabaster Box full of the oil of praise and I cannot wait to pour that on his feet every time I get the chance.

I know who I was, and I know who he made me…he’s worthy of this praise…even when it’s uncomfortable or different than what others grew up knowing as church please remember this line – “you were not there the night he found me, you did not feel what I felt when he wrapped his loving arms around me, and you don’t know the cost of the oil in my Alabaster Box.”

(Song my CeCe Winans)

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