Monday, September 10, 2012

Parading Criminals

$300 missing from my neighbors truck this morning…what makes me the maddest? The fact people will blame him for leaving his truck unlocked. What happened to the days of leaving your car door unlocked just in case your neighbor needed to borrow it throughout the night?

In my business, journalism, I get the opportunity to see just how tainted my area of residence is on a daily basis. I spend my time looking through stacks of citations, court dockets and listening to the police scanner. I’ve been telling my husband for months that we are going to have to start making for sure the vehicles are locked at night.

In the past year I not only started locking my vehicle but I started sleeping with two guns in my bedroom at arm’s reach; cause I’m handy with the steel, if you know what I mean (if you know what song that line if from – you’re getting old cause you’re my age). It’s a sad day in American when Podunk isn’t safe anymore.

I think if we start taking all of these criminals to every parade that comes around and making them walk through with a placard around their neck listing their name and crime, then maybe we will start seeing a decrease in petty crimes. AND, instead of them throwing candy at us, we go back to medieval times and we throw rotten fruits and vegetables at them. We are all looking for a stress release, this idea I do believe may heal us all.

Moving on:

I started boot camp Saturday morning where I go and have a woman with one of those ear piece microphones and buns of steel make me do abnormal things to my body.

I got the list of what to bring to the gym with me. It was a workout in itself just getting it all inside the car, back out and into the building. Yoga balls are not portable! Two sets of weights, a towel, deck of cards, a mat, and resistant bands. I was a broken down mule before I even got started.

The worst? Standing on the dish towel and falling forward onto my hands and dragging myself across the gym floor. Frick! Frack! That sucked! The good news – I paid for six weeks of this…I PAID for this. I’m an idiot.

I was sore from the tips of my earlobes to my toenails. Still am.

My clean eating chart says I have to drink 100 oz of water a day. My question today? Does the water in my coffee count? If not, I’m 8 oz in for the day and its bedtime. I’m obviously very good at this.

Tomorrow I promise to hit double digits in the water category. I hate to cheat on my diet coke…it really loves me so much. But I guess now that I look at the word I just typed out, DIEt coke, the first three letters of that may entice me to pull out the water bottle.

As my friend Brittany says, if I die, tell my story.

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