Wednesday, July 18, 2012

I Haven't Slapped A Stranger, Yet...

As a car closed in on us the Eldest girl started breathing heavily from her nose at a rate that would make her heart jealous during a cardio workout. I just glared at her – why are you doing that?

“I’m obviously very anxious at this moment.” – Eldest Girl

The car passed on its side of the roadway and she continues on at the marked speed of 25 mph.

She’s driving for the first time on the main road.

Hands are 10 & 2 and I think she’s contemplating wiping her nose on the steering wheel. No wait, she’s just looking really closely at the road.

We are now in a 55 mph speed zone and we come upon a 35 mph sign. EEERRRRRKKKK…she breaks and lets the needle fall to 35 and then begins to push the gas again.

I pull my imaginary notepad from the imaginary pocket on my shirt, lick the tip of my finger and write down “teach slowing down progression.”

Good thing I wrote it down, I may have forgotten it by now.

I took advantage of the situation, as always, to scare a lesson into her. At one point of her anxious driving moments I yell out, “Can you imagine picking up your phone right now and texting a friend?”

“I WOULD NEEEEVER,” gasped a dry forced whispering voice that just realized how much attention it takes to drive.

We have to complete 60 hours of driving before she can take her driving test and we only have about three left to complete. Maybe that’s an exaggeration but she has been driving me around a lot.

She’s done a very good job and I haven’t made her stop the car so I could get out and slap a stranger for no reason other than to release anxiety.

In other Thomas’ family business:

My daddy had his knee replaced today and is doing very well, thanks for all the prayers.

The Middle girl got a new pageant dress yesterday and is preparing for the fiddler’s festival pageant for this Friday. She’s in the “Teen” category now. She’s gorgeous…I’m not sure when she grew up so tall and beautiful, but she did.

The boys have been in basketball camp all week…another $70 spent this summer on sports camps. Eieieiei…

The Eldest girl was part of a volleyball camp this week…another $50, after two other camps of $120 total. I’m not sure why I can’t get that $1 million fall back account built up.

Next week starts the boys’ football season…new cleats are needed. Think the coaches would mind if I send them in golf shoes?

The Middle girl has middle school volleyball tryouts tomorrow.

I think I’m going to try MY hand at a sport...robbing banks…

Quote of the day that I love: “I don’t like making plans for the day because then the word “premeditated” gets thrown around in the courtroom.”

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