Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Slop, Slop, Sloppy Joe

You Might Be A Redneck If…

You buy a membership to Snap fitness and you take smoke breaks. I experienced this tonight. A large group of youngins’ lifting weights – smoke break – lifting more weights – smoke break…my body wouldn’t hold up.

So glad Jesus delivered me of this three years ago. I had tried it all; patches, Chantix , cold turkey - they all worked – for a moment in time. One good sermon and my butt was singed; pun intended.

My sister borrowed her first official “cup of sugar” from her neighbor today. It was actually a box of instant pudding she sought from me. Is this a sign how times have changed. Remember the pictures of the 50’s lady in the A-line skirt and red checkered apron holding her measuring cup while knocking on the door. I bet she was making real, homemade from scratch pudding. Yummm…But not my sister. Nothing but instant for her babies. We’re so proud.

I have a nephew who thinks that instant mashed potatoes and canned biscuits are nectar of the god’s. We girls grew up in a restaurant - one where my daddy made for sure everything was as homemade as possible. Not sure why we girls raised our kids on fake food. I guess we don’t want to send them into the world with false expectations; just raise them from the get-go on crap and the real world will be zero shock. I like this thought…so, it’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

The middle girl scored several points in her volleyball game today – so proud!

I got to work as a lunch lady today!!! I am starting a series at work called “These are the People of Your Neighborhood.” Debbie Givens, the manager of the middle school lunchroom allowed me total access to the behind the scenes of her lunchroom. I got to slop mashed potatoes, handle the beloved tots (not really, they don’t have tots anymore, they are smiley face potato rounds BUT tots sounds soo much cooler!) and I got to wash dishes with the big spray nozzle that hangs from the ceiling. I am saving my money to install one in my garage. Every mother needs a prerinse machine for children before they enter the house, this will work perfectly!

The best of all, I now officially know what really is in the Sloppy Joe AND the secret behind the McCougar Rib. You’ll have to wait for my video package of my adventure to the lunchroom to find out these coveted secrets. I’m not sure I will release them. I am awaiting a response from the Superintendent to see if he will fulfill my demands to keep these secrets.

If you never hear from me again, I’m in the witness protection program…

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