Momma Problems 1 - 7

Momma problem 1 (False report): Boy #2 reported Boy #1 missing for an hour. I send him out to search! Hurry, hurry, hurry!!!

Momma problem 2 (Ain’t nobody got time for losing kids): I grab my shoes and head outside after I text dad, I see boy #2 playing with neighbor boy instead of searching.

Momma problem 3 (A.D.D. Kids): Did you find him already? “No,” he replied, “So I just started talking to Henry.”

Momma problem 4 (No bug spray used): I send him to look deeper in the woods, near the creek.

Momma problem 5 (Creeping my neighborhood): I drive the neighborhood and immediately find him, within eyeshot of Henry’s house, might I add, so I turn around to go and tell boy #2.

Momma problem 6 (Failed to put leash on kid): I realize now I am on my street, parked, honking my horn at the woods waiting for boy #2 to emerge. Most of my neighbors are out mowing, running and playing with their kids, and I’m all-over-here parked in the middle of the roadway, where there are no houses, just honking my horn, at what appears to be nobody.

Momma problem 7 (Not Paying Attention): I lost boy #2 sending him to look for boy #1 who was never lost.

I’m not sure why I am sane.

In other Thomas family business:

The Middle Girl got her spacers between her teeth today, and next Tuesday she gets braces, and I get to write a fat check. Here’s the straight teeth!


The “In The Know” crew celebrated our 500th show on-air today with cake, delicious catered food from a new restaurant about to open in town, and face painting. To name a few activities…


The Eldest Girl is at her National Honor Society bonfire tonight. I recently decided to use my Twitter account I setup a while back. I did get in trouble for following her friends, apparently that’s bad…so, being a good mom, I looked for more friends to follow and called it part of my job for the radio station.

As I was about to end my blog, the husband brings me a bowl of soup and cornbread he made for dinner. What a little charmer, this husband of mine. I burned my tongue, sorry if I sound weird for the rest of this blog.


I worked my day away yesterday but I did get to see the Middle Girl play a ballgame, finally. I have missed most since I have meetings on game nights. I also got to see my great niece Peyton and meet one of my childhood best friend’s first grandchild, Peyton.


Boy #2, who is lost, got a haircut today, finally. At least he looks nice while he’s lost…

Actually, he came back home about 10 minutes later, scratching his head and saying, “I still can’t find him.” As I am glaring at him, I can see Boy #1 through the window.

We’re just letting Boy #2 continue to look…

I Have a Twin

I’m not so sure she likes it, but it’s been declared that my eldest daughter is my twin.

This revelation made it’s declaration after she, for the first time, had her hair and makeup professionally applied for Prom.

She’s always been a simple girl who likes just enough makeup that you can see her eye lashes but not so much her teenage skin.

Prom is that magical night where girls get to slip into an experience where they are transformed into the Cinderella image of themselves, but most of the girls I see don’t really look THAT transformed. They look like themselves; just in a really fancy dress…this is due to most of these girls wearing heavy makeup on a daily basis.

I’m one of those girls…dab it on thick in the morning – I don’t want to see this again until bedtime…

When Louren, the hairdresser, spun her around she gasped a bit, I knew it was more makeup then she really wanted but I think she also was pleasantly surprised at how pretty it was on her.

We rushed home to slip her into her white short dress with a big black bow on the side. She loves bows and loved this dress at first sight.

We couldn’t find the black jewelry I had purchased weeks before, but luckily, I had purchased an alternate pair of earrings the night before while shopping with dad, who just rode along on the shopping trip for the dinner at Texas Roadhouse.

To prove my above point, I also purchased her a little black satin purse and told her it was for her lipstick. She said, “Lipstick? Ugghhhh.”

What happened was interesting to me. I placed my proud photos of her on facebook and was overwhelmed with how many people are realizing how much she looks like me. I have always thought so, and at times she makes family decisions and disciplines the youngins’ because her dad mistakes her for me as he is passing through the house yelling for her to “figure that out.” (Thinking he is yelling for me to do it)

I guess with the entire makeup her features, which are my features, were highlighted.

She’s a much prettier version of me, she’s got her daddy’s round face.

In the end we won a trophy for this twin status.

At the DECA Banquet our Advisor, Ms. Smith, gave out some amusing awards, such as Most Pairs of Shoes Packed to California, Very Vera Award (the most pieces of Vera Bradly carried by a student to California), and several others.

The kid and I won the “Dynamic Duo Award” for looking so much alike.

I’ll take it!

In other Thomas Family Business:

The school year has ended and the summer sports are in full swing. The middle girl got flipped at home plate as she and the catcher were trying to occupy the same space at the same time. The catcher, who was half the girl’s height, hit her just about the knee caps, flipping the kid over her. Just a few scratches are left to heal. Luckily short stuff was spared…

The red-headed step kid and the middle girl graduated 8th grade! I have two freshmen…prayers NOW!!! Luckily the eldest girl will be a Senior this year…she’s already used to making parenting decision by default…this look alike thing may work out well! Now, if I can just get her to wear my clothes to school and taunt these two…

Bahahahah…(my evil laugh)

Heal My Broken Heart and Bruised Legs

“That was great, momma,” said the sweetest little round face as she was hugged around her mommas neck.

The little, three-year-old, pig tailed girl was talking about the Disney on Ice show I got the chance to take her, her momma (my sister) and her older sister to. It was the oldest sisters 7th birthday.

We headed to Lexington to see the Princess edition of Disney on Ice and on our way we passed the famous castle in Versailles, KY. The girls were amazed when they laid eyes upon it. “I want to see the carriage,” said the 7-year-old.



I miss my girls being this little. Apparently after watching the Rapunzel part of the show, the 3-year-old thought my middle girl’s hair was to swing from.



We didn’t purchase gifts on-site; we went to the Disney store in the local mall where the same dolls were $12 instead of $30 at the show. The birthday girl got two dolls; her mom was donning her superhero cape after that purchase!

We had a quick dinner at TGI Fridays before heading home. I looked up to notice my “27.” I’ve decided to take a picture of how many times I see 27 on various things throughout the day…it really is amazing how many times God reminds me he is with me. If you don’t understand this paragraph, find the blog entitled, “Why He Gave Me a 27.”



Less than 48 hours later I found myself in the Nashville airport ready to head to California with the DECA troop for National competition with the eldest girl.

We flew American Airlines this time and we were all assigned seats. Ms. Smith, our advisor, and I were walking to the terminal when she asked me what seat number I had. I hadn’t looked yet so I pulled out the ticket and said, “Would you believe me if I told you 27?”



I knew God was going with me to Cali…

We got to experience a lot of California in fast forward. A few hours on a bus zipping past South Compton, Rodeo Drive, Sunset Blvd., and Beverly Hills, and we had a few hours at Disneyland and Universal Studios while we were there. It was a great week with lots of memories. The kids did really well and we had two on stage – that’s a big deal when you are competing with 16,000 kids!



Yes, I really took the above pic with my iPhone.

Rodeo Drive

The eldest girl and her partner received a Certificate of Excellence for scoring 70% or higher; this is hard to accomplish at this level.


Proud of this kid!

In other Thomas Family Business:

Apparently, the boy is working to have himself removed from our home. If anyone sees his legs they will turn us into CPS. He claims he has no idea why his legs look like this.


I refer you to the below pics I found on his iPod…

We found this birds nest in our grill:



Apparently, Pterodactyls are not extinct.

I finished the 90 Day Body Revolution with Jillian Micheals. I laid down in the gym floor and was convinced for about 10 minutes that I may never get up. I would recommend this to anybody who really wants to put forth the commitment. If you aren’t willing to work hard, walk away – even if it is only 30 minutes a day, it’s a Hard 30 minutes once you get into week 3. The first two weeks are just hard with a lower case h. Yes I am happy with the results and I have restarted the program. This time I hope to get through all of the workouts with Jillian instead of just watching her and screaming at the laptop screen.



We hosted a Derby party at our house this year. The amount of food was a sin I’m sure in some part of this world, and the company was great!



No pics were allowed from the waist down since I had on my pj's and house shoes...true story! I'm A.D.D., remember. I don't finish many things...even outfits.

I wore this hat on the show Friday, I found this pic of the boy on my iPhone today. I feel like one of those articles in a magazine, "Who Wore it Better?"




Just when I thought my marriage was getting stale, the husband fashioned this as his Derby hat...



Actually, he found this in a board game we broke out to play. Never-the-less, the spark is back!!!

I picked a great horse – a for sure winner. I loved its name. I knew when I heard it that I was going to score BIG with this stud! Black Onyx! My favorite color is black – of course this was my horse, my heart was drawn to it. Not 30 minutes after we recorded a promo of me declaring Black Onyx as the bestest horse to ever run the Derby, he scratched! That promo recorded on Friday ran on the radio all weekend long. What’s that Bible verse that talks about your heart deceiving you??

It’s ok, Mamaw made chicken and dumplings Sunday after church. Chicken and dumplings heal broken hearts and bruised legs. Me and the boy are going to be just fine…

Ding Dong Really LOUD

I told all four of the kids to make the dad a birthday card and leave on his desk for him. One of the four listened. Batting a thousand I tell you, my powers of persuasion rock, obviously!

This is the card left by the eldest girl:

I’m pretty sure she has a future with American Greetings…

My son has an obvious future in engineering. Probably gonna be hired by Ford Motor Co. or General Motors tomorrow…obviously!!!

This was a school challenge he had. Make a car out of household items.

This was a conversation between he and his father while sitting in a hunting blind, hunting turkeys’:

“How do the turkeys know when it’s roosting time?” – The Boy
“Instincts” – The Dad
“Oh, okay” – The Boy
“You know what instincts are?” – The Dad
“Yeah, it is what they know and have learned.” – The Boy
“NO, it’s when they don't wipe their butt good, their end stinks.” – The Brilliant Dad

It’s my fault really; I have pushed more father/son time.

Yes, I really bought 26 boxes of cereal this weekend. Sale + Coupons = Momma Stocking Up!!!

Now, when milk goes on sale the four teens can eat it.

In other Thomas’ Family Business:

I got unexpected Arby’s Sunday by my boss. Thank you Arby’s Claus!

I got unexpected Amish Cinnamon/Cranberry bread by my friend Beth! Thank you, Beth!

I got stood up on the show today. I’m in charge since the bosses are on vacation. I had an interview with the circus ringmaster. He didn’t call…it’s ok. I’m not even mad because it’s National High 5 Day! So, High 5 Ringmaster…to your face!

The boys found these while roaming in the woods. The husband thinks maybe they’re going to start a band?

The middle girl had two friends over this weekend and all she got while in the woods was poison ivy.

I walked in the Clear Choices 2nd Annual Walk-4-Life Saturday morning.


I planted flowers Saturday and bought one of those new flexible watering hoses. Love it!

I started Week 12 – the LAST week – of Jillian Michaels Body Revolution. Ever done a backbend? Ever done a pushup from that position? Me neither…not until this week, for 30 seconds. As a Christian woman I am forbidden to hate…please hate this on my behalf.

I remember having to buy post-it notes for the middle girl for school. I found this note on the eldest girls mirror. So glad she's using her post-it notes.

My next door mat: Door Bell Broken, Yell Ding Dong Really LOUD!

Our BFF's Are Growing Up

When I am unfaithful to my blog it gets me down mentally. I want to blog everyday but just don’t make the time and then the stories get lost, days blur, but one story stands out like a beacon of light in my “parenting” world.

My mother says parents have until their kids are 16 to mold and shape them into decent beings. Child therapists have told me that children are molded into who they will be – personality wise – by the age of 8 unless something tragic happens – like rape, divorce, abuse…

My 16-year-old was sitting at my dressing table while I curled her hair one morning last week. Through idle chit-chat I yelled out a random thought; her response is what wowed me.

Let me lay some groundwork:

This child’s best friend has been her BFF since they were in kindergarten in 2001. They have spent more than just nights together, but weeks, vacations, and grandparents/parents. We look at – let’s call her Cady for blog sake – like she’s one of our own and Cady’s parents/grandparents treat our daughter the same.
(Here my child is adoring Cady - I love this pic when they were five)


They’ve been through a lot together. Cady lost her dad when she was 6, moved away her freshman year and they’ve weaved themselves in and out of different friendship over the years but always held their bond.

Cady will be going on a mission trip soon and is raising money to go.

Back to task:

So a random thought ran through my brain and straight out-of-my mouth, “I need to give Cady money for her trip, don’t let me forget to do that if she comes in this weekend.”

“I’ve already given her $100 for us.” – 16-year-old.

My mouth agape I said, “Wow, kid, that’s amazing. I’m so proud of you and it speaks volumes about who you are.”

I’m just flooded with such thankfulness that she not only loves on a higher level, but that she is generous. And the fact that she didn’t boast about it on Twitter, Facebook or other media, not even to us in private overwhelms me.

But the best part for me is this: “For us.” She gave to Cady what is an enormous amount of money for a 16-year-old, her own hard earned money, and she did it to represent our family, not herself, her family.

“Thanks, Kid” doesn’t touch how I feel.

Momma always said, “You better teach them before their 16 because they’re in the world at that point, making adult decisions.”

Momma was right.

This momma is humbled by her child and this decision.

I am thankful for the influences in these two girl’s lives to make them at 16-years-old want to take on such life changing missions. Cady actually moving outside of her comfort zone to leave the country to help other – something that even I am scared to do – and this kid who wants to do what she can to help her dearest friend obtain her heart’s desire to help others.

Yet another promise fulfilled by God:

“Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ” - Philippians 1:6


(Cartoon from their 16th birthday party we had made for them)

Prayer = Dirt Bike

I’m torn on this new adventure of the boys…

He talked to his dad about it but was not happy with the brush-off he received.

Persistent is an understatement on his behalf; worried is a word that fails dad and I as we think of it.

But he did his homework and now I’m hoping he is ready to do the real work involved.

A dirt bike…that’s all he has talked about for weeks…a dirt bike.

You know, the motorcycle kind of bike…no not that one…the one that has a motor and goes REALLY fast and could potentially throw my baby off and hurt him…THAT ONE!

See my concern?

Dad initially told him he didn’t have anywhere to ride said motor-bike and/or store it. AND, the boy didn’t have the money to purchase this here bike and safety equipment.

After a week of pleading his case to various aunts with farm land and working out the details, he came to me with a plan…half cocked, BUT none-the-less a plan.

He was going to ride/store it on the aunt’s farm and he was going to work with dad every weekend cleaning to earn a pay check.

I had to give him credit; he worked out dad’s concern. And being a momma, I want to give my babies everything under the sun AND the sun.

On the way home last Sunday afternoon I taught him how to approach dad and have a man-to-man conversation; because I have obviously had a lot of these in my days and know how they work.

I told him to ask for dad’s time, write-out all of his plans to pay for the bike and riding/storage issues and find someone to teach him to ride.

AND last but not least, PRAY. Pray God guides him in his conversation, protects him while he rides and gives him the dedication to work until the bike is paid for.

He just glared at me but he heard me.

Not five minutes into being home, he came at me with red eyes and slumped shoulders.

“Did you ask him for time to talk about the bike?” – Mother

“No, I just asked him if $1,000 was a good deal for a dirt bike and he grumbled.” – Disobedient Son

“That’s not what I told you to do. Do it my way.” – Mother

I didn’t hear anymore about it for hours but when I sat down amongst the crowd of men/boys I heard them speaking about Logan teaching Eli to ride. I looked at him – who is all smiles – and said, “Did you do it my way? Did you ask for time to talk?”

“No, I prayed,” – Boy

Well, there you have it. I have a feeling though he didn’t pray what I told him to, it was probably more like, “Please let him buy me a dirt bike.”

The bike was bought the next day and by the next weekend he had found safety equipment of his friends and got the chance to try his hand at this dirt bike thing.

“It was like riding a bike for him…first time, he just took off.” – Dad Who Is Having a Ball

In other Thomas Family Spring Break Business:

We had our first ever Radio Ranch Yard Sale - the boy got up early Saturday and worked with me all day long. The girls worked hard the day before. $410 over two days; not bad.

That was the highlight of our spring break week. Wish I was a liar, the family business portion would have been a better read.

Carry on…

Stupid Monkey Bread

My cup runneth over Easter morning as I rose early to watch the sunrise and make my babies semi-homemade cinnamon rolls.

The bunny had come and set out the treats, the sun was rising and I grabbed an Auntie Ann’s cinnamon roll kit I had purchased through a fund raising event and saved for a special occasion.

I opened the kit and realized it involved more steps then I was going to be happy with, but the box was opened so now I was committed.

I mixed the yeast with 80 degree water for two minutes to let it dissolve.

It didn’t.

I went ahead and mixed the dough with the lumpy yeast water and kneaded it for 5 – 7 minutes like it said.

I covered it with a towel and set aside for 30 minutes. About 25 minutes in I re-read the instructions to realize it was suppose to be placed in a warm place for 30 minutes. I attempted to back pedal a bit by preheating the oven for a minute, shutting it off and sticking the bowel in the over.

To my utter shock, it didn’t work.

The dough was heavy.

I made monkey bread with it instead of rolls. At this point my ADD has kicked-in and I am looking at cereal options.

I bake the monkey bread and plate for the 4 teens that are now ascending the stairs to find their Easter treats.

Can you imagine they didn’t eat much of the breakfast I worked so hard on? I’m still shocked…

Stupid Monkey Bread…who names bread “monkey” anyways.

I noticed Eli’s iPod sitting propped up next to the baseboard and hooked to his charger, pointing at the area rug the bunny is usually notorious for leaving treats on.

He grabs it and lets out a rebel yell shouting, “I got it, I taped the Easter Bunny!”

Unfortunately, his device stopped recording 2 hours and 47 minutes into the night…

Poor fella.

I narrated the play that morning at church. The play turned out amazing, the set design, new costumes and actors all pulled together under excellent guidance and painted an awesome picture of the Lord Jesus Christ rising from the tomb that glorious morning.

In other Easter Day business:

I went to sit down after the play and I noticed my husband had a loft of bread in his lap. I asked where he got that. Our church gives bread to new visitors – the bread of life – get it? So anyways, I’ve never gotten any but always wanted to try it. He said, “Your sister came in late and I leaned up to wave her over and this guy came running at me and gave me bread. It was awesome!”

I got to see both my sister Annie’s grand-babies together for the first time. Due to sickness they had not been able to meet. My niece thought it was to neatest thing to see two babies in a crib.

My momma made chicken & dumplings…Well, Happy Easter to us!

My honey bunny left me three LARGE bags of Lindor truffles. I think I love him for this, I think I hate him for this. My chocolate obsessed, dieting, Jillian Michaels following self is torn. I promise to make a final decision after all three bags of chocolate are consumed. This is the only proper way to make a decision about our future.